i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize