But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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