You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
