i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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