I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It's just like the Real World with babies
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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