I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
