I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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