i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
