just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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