you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
