Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
