lets start a swedish sibling band together
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
There's always time for handjobs
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
