I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i drank out of a bidet.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
