Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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