smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
