I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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