did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
