mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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