My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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