Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
