It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
