That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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