youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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