P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?