fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
