I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
19 Totally Clueless People That’ll Make You Say ‘Bless Your Heart’
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
30 Times Ryan Reynolds’ Replies Were The Funniest Thing On Twitter
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
