Texts From Last Night

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  (979): View more from Texas

  I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME

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  (979): I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME http://tfl.nu/ljwk
  Replies (35) Good night (1162) Bad night (4488)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.

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  (716): I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas. http://tfl.nu/cqgv
  Replies (23) Good night (4697) Bad night (1454)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Fuck now we have to have sex

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  What?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  In a bet, need to win

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  (203): Fuck now we have to have sex (1-203): What? (203): In a bet, need to win http://tfl.nu/ejzn
  Replies (20) Good night (5587) Bad night (1307)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night

  (1-940): View more from Texas

  I don't have a cat..?

  (940): View more from Texas

  Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.

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  (940): Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night (1-940): I don't have a cat..? (940): Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge. http://tfl.nu/uym0
  Replies (13) Good night (1689) Bad night (5348)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life

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  (906): nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life http://tfl.nu/phhm
  Replies (7) Good night (4072) Bad night (1504)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.

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  (402): Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year. http://tfl.nu/x76y
  Replies (18) Good night (3779) Bad night (1004)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.

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  (224): I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring. http://tfl.nu/u70q
  Replies (6) Good night (2500) Bad night (780)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds

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  (914): I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds http://tfl.nu/eevd
  Replies (4) Good night (1345) Bad night (1393)
• Favorite

  (283): View more from Ohio

  by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?

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  (283): by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours? http://tfl.nu/2a7f
  Replies (6) Good night (2058) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.

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  (307): The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity. http://tfl.nu/x8mh
  Replies (2) Good night (1311) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.

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  (+44): Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again. http://tfl.nu/5f8v
  Replies (2) Good night (305) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"

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  (815): A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!" http://tfl.nu/ey8v
  Replies (7) Good night (1610) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.

  (425): View more from Washington

  Sleeping with just one person sucks

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  (425): Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings. (425): Sleeping with just one person sucks http://tfl.nu/5vll
  Replies (5) Good night (606) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's

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  (801): And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's http://tfl.nu/7hkf
  Replies (0) Good night (518) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.

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  (813): When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out. http://tfl.nu/gt6a
  Replies (0) Good night (276) Bad night (388)

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