Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.

Fav 5 804 2795
share tweet
(336): View more from North Carolina

I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.

Fav 11 882 2876
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(423): View more from Tennessee

How'd it feel making her break her religion?

Fav 65 6815 1319
share tweet
(281): View more from Texas

Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.

Fav 19 3910 1135
share tweet
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(917): View more from New York City

we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.

Fav 60 10636 1613
share tweet
(603): View more from New Hampshire

You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard

Fav 12 1533 4576
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(716): View more from New York

i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.

Fav 10 3490 1171
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(401): View more from Rhode Island

yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off

Fav 2 2306 1620
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner

Fav 1 22 40
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT