My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
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we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
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When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner