I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
