Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
