i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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