and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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