so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
