fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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