my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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