You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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