i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
