you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
