you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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