I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
