You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
we're making bets on your personal life
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize