She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
