The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
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The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
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I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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