hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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