Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
