He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize