Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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