Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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