found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize