Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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