I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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