Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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