Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
