Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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