I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
