smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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