god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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