Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Four minutes until I can fart!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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