I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
