He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
