Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize