I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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