He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
