Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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