hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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