just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
