so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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