pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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