He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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