we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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